


You Aren’t Even That Fast

by Mobbo



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Secrets, alternative universe, not meant to be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mobbo/pseuds/Mobbo
Summary: Sonic, through sheer pomp and circumstance, manages to keep his speed a secret. Here’s how that goes down.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 115





	You Aren’t Even That Fast

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here I am, having of done something I never thought I’d do. Well, what can I say, I’m actually a pretty big sonic fan. Most of my familiarity comes from the comics, though. (Sure, I watched all the video game cutscenes when I was like 11 on YouTube but I have not retained very much). Please, do bear in mind this is more tongue in cheek than it is anything serious. It isn’t quite crack-fic territory though

Tails is four years old and very smart and very alone. He knows how to build things, finds his solace in cold metal and warm wires, until a sea of technology is all he knows. He meets Sonic, then, when he is too short to peer over the pilots seat of the Tornado, and too lost in his world of technology to notice how incredibly fast his new friend is. Things are okay like that, for a while, Tails and Sonic and Sonic and Tails and the Tornado, cruising a world of blue from the skies. Tails learns how to fly the plane, and how to fly with his own tails, and then his world of happy technology and flight is brought crashing down by a crazed inventor. 

And yet, somehow, through the years he’s spent glued to Sonic’s side, he has never once noticed how fast he is. It goes like this:

It’s a sunny day in Spagonia, the warmth turning the air a liquid gold. A light breeze ruffles his fur and he sighs contentedly, breaking focus on his project for a moment to wave cheerily at Sonic, who is strolling up to his table. 

“Hey little buddy! How’s breaking into ol’ Eggheads files going?” 

“Sonic!” Tails frowns, “It’s a little harder this time— he changed his passwords again, but I’ll get it!” 

“I never doubted that! Anything I can do for you while you’re working?” 

Tails idly taps at the screen of his device, thinking the offer over for a moment. “Well, it’s a little ways away, but there’s an ice cream place here in Spagonia I’ve always wanted to try. I can give you the rings if you don’t mind getting me something!”

“Aw, don’t even worry about it buddy!” Sonic grins, “be back in a flash!”

“Thanks Sonic!” Tails grins back, turning his attention back to his pad. h4t3th4th3dg3h0g didn’t work, so maybe... another breeze tugs at his fur, but this one goes unnoticed. 

Sonic returns with the ice cream what seems like minutes later— even though that ice cream place is at least half an hour away. Tails frowns— he must have been more involved in cracking this password than he thought to lose track of time. Sonic hands him a scoop (mint chocolate, his favourite), before settling down across from Tails with his own. 

“Thanks Sonic!” 

“Eh, it’s the least I could do. Any progress?”

“Not yet... I’m close though!!!” 

The rest of the afternoon passes in easy quiet, even though Sonic leaves for a jog halfway through. Tails doesn’t bother looking up from his pad (maybe 399m4n3mp1r3Rul35 will work?) as he waves him off. 

* * *

(The password ends up being YOULLNEVERGUESSTHIS. checkmate, Eggman.)

* * *

It continues like this:

Eggman has found a floating island, home to most of the chaos emeralds at the moment, and home to a massive source of energy. Tails copies the files, changes the password to the usual (SonicWasHere), and sets off to find Sonic. Conveniently, he’s napping on a wing of the Tornado already, and Tails sets the engine to warming up before waking the hedgehog. As expected, he’s all for going, trusting Tails enough with finding the floating island that he goes back to sleep. 

Tails finds it after half on hour of flying, cross-referencing Eggmans files with his own sensors, which he’s calibrated to weird energy surges. 

Or, that’s what he tells Sonic when he wakes up. Truthfully, it was fluke that he managed to find the floating island so quickly. 

When they land, Sonic springs off of the Tornado— and almost into a pit full of spikes. He scrambles away from that only to get his foot stuck in a loop of rope, which unceremoniously flips him upside down. 

Tails giggles as he cuts Sonic down, who’s crossed his arms and is looking intensely annoyed. 

“Guess we just gotta take it slow here, buddy. Who knows how many more traps ol’ Egghead has managed to set?”

Tails sets Sonic back on his feet, and edges over to the spike pit— instead of the sheer metal that Eggman prefers, the spikes are jagged rock and carved wood.

“I don’t think these traps belong to Eggman, Sonic.” 

“They do seem a little rustic for ol’ Eggy.” Sonic shrugs, “Better keep an eye out, anyway.”

* * *

Turns out the traps were set by a... gullible Echidna, who eventually comes over to their side. Despite this, he never actually bothers to tell either of them where the traps are set, so Tails makes note to generally be cautious, and Sonic seems to agree, though he does start getting fidgety. 

Regardless, together with Knuckles, they manage to drive off Eggman and recover the emeralds he had stolen, even if Sonic had insisted on taking the final fight alone. 

Knuckles sees them off begrudgingly, seemingly torn between wanting to be alone on his island and wanting someone to talk to after however many years he’s spent alone, so Sonic makes the promise that as long as Knuckles leaves clear running paths, they’ll come back to visit. The echidna agrees to that begrudgingly as well, but when they come back a couple months later, there’s a network of winding trails around the island that have been clearly marked. Sonic takes off down one almost as soon as the Tornado has touched the ground, dense foliage hiding the blue hedgehog from view. 

When they finally come back from their second trip to Angel Island, their house has been invaded by a pink intruder who doesn’t seem to know the meaning of no. She pounces Sonic almost as soon as he’s through the door, leaving Tails to stand a little awkwardly just outside his own house as the two get into a shouting match. Eventually Sonic manages to wrangle Amy off of him, and make his escape when her attention is elsewhere. Tails, for his part, has taken to sitting cross legged outside the door on the grass, playing snake on his pad. (What? It’s no fun, being all work, no play.) 

Amy stomps outside after a minute or two of searching, angrily sitting down next to tails with her elbows on her knees, propping up her head. “I can’t believe that hedgehog. How come he’s always hiding from me?”

“I think his latent stealth abilities kick in when you’re around, Amy. Maybe don’t ambush us next time?” 

“But then he’d be able to get away even quicker!”

“Maybe if the problem is how fast he can get away from you, you need to rethink some life choices.”

The bruise he gets from her Piko Hammer is worth it. 

* * *

Still, it’s kind of weird, isn’t it? Sonic has a knack for disappearing, sure, and he’s usually accompanied by strong bursts of wind, but that isn’t anything overly special. Not... common, certainly, but Espio can vanish even faster than Sonic, and even Tails can stir up a good wind with his tails. And yet Eggman is so fixated on him it’s almost scary. 

It starts to bother Tails. Why Sonic? Why, out of everyone— Tails, with his genius and his tails, Knuckles with his super strength and Master Emerald, or heck, even Amy with her Piko Hammer and strength to rival Knuckles, why does Eggman choose to fixate on Sonic— who is, relatively, a normal guy?

* * *

Maybe he would have had time to pursue this idle line of questioning in an ideal world, but less than a week after he stumbles across what feels like the start to a big revelation, Sonic is arrested by GUN.

Tails... has some catching up to do. 

* * *

Shadow has been asleep for a very long time, he is told. It makes sense, then, why every move comes through a cloud of fog, why every memory is like grasping at silk (blue silk blue dress what does it mean—). He meets Sonic early, watching with a detached kind of fascination as the hedgehog accuses him of being a fake. Is there something there? He is the ultimate lifeform. He was made in a lab. In this way, he is fake. It makes sense. It makes his head hurt. 

“You’re the only fake hedgehog around here,” he bites back, chaos control moving him from one point to another in the blink of an eye. It is pitifully easy to escape the blue hedgehog, a creature without his ultimate speed. 

(Still, for that moment he spent taunting, that second he had spared to stand by Sonic’s side, the hedgehog had reacted much quicker than he should have been able to. Perhaps Chaos Control warps his perception of time. He does not remember if this is the case.)

* * *

The island is lush and green and verdant, and he has the distant idea that she would love it here (Who?). Again on the island is the blue hedgehog, and this time Shadow is clearer, sharper, more aware. This time, Shadow has had time to reflect on the Hedgehogs records, left easy to access by Eggman (Unless the password Egg was meant to keep him out...). This time, Shadow knows this other hedgehogs secret— that he is just as fake as Shadow. 

“Faker,” he greets, deciding to keep his cards close to his chest. Based on the fact that there’s only one of them visible at any given time, the collective of clones known as Sonic likely want to keep their status as more than one entity a secret. 

That’s a game Shadow can play. 

* * *

Or not. 

Standing aboard the space colony ARK, he watches the capsule the hedgehog is in as it is jettisoned into space, and exploded. A shame. He wonders if Eggman got all of them. He ignores the pulse of doomed chaos energy from the craft, turning away towards one of the long walkways that the spacecraft is composed of. 

Sonic is there, too. 

Eggman has missed at least one. 

“Who or what are you?” He asks, gradually speeding up. He keeps the chaos energy low, wanting to look this Sonic in the face as he defeats him moving at his snails pace. 

“What you see is what you get,” Sonic replies easily, and Shadow wonders how much of that is a lie. 

* * *

(Briefly, the thought of Sonic having super speed like him crosses his mind, instead of his working theory of there being more than one Sonic, but he dismisses it easily. He was biologically engineered to be able to move at the speed of sound. It would be ridiculous for a natural born creature to be able to do the same. It would rip Sonic apart.)

* * *

It’s a question that he returns to, in his spare time— the question of why Sonic? Out of everyone they know, why him? But the answer still eludes him. 

Amy shows up at their house one day, prompting another one of Sonic’s incredible vanishing acts, though she doesn’t seem to have her mind set on hugging him this time. Instead— after giving the house a precursory sweep— she flops on the couch next to Tails, and lets out a sigh. “I just don’t get it.” She announces, “Why does Eggman have to attack Sonic all the time?” 

Well, at least Tails isn’t the only one stewing over this. They brainstorm for a bit, not reaching any real conclusion, before Tails has an idea. 

“Hey, Amy, how do you feel about taking a trip to Angel Island?” 

After all, Knuckled worked with the doctor for a while, maybe he’ll have a clue?

* * *

Tails, Knuckles, and Amy have managed to construct a working theory. Eggman hates Sonic so much because Sonic was the first person to stand in his way, and the first person he hasn’t been able to defeat yet. And, for that matter, they’ve even gotten a working theory about Sonic having the power to manipulate wind. It starts when Tails notes that Sonic is so often accompanied by gusts, which Knuckles builds upon when he mentions that weather patterns around Angel Island are usually a little odd when the hedgehog is around— particularly wind weather patterns. 

* * *

When Tails and Amy finally return to Tails’s house, Sonic is napping on the couch. Amy leaves without harassing him, and Tails is left wondering if he should question his big brother. Perhaps not; if he wanted Tails to know, he surely would have brought it up by now?

* * *

Eggman has started building his machines to go faster and faster and it’s starting to scare Tails. He has confidence in Sonic, but he can’t keep up with some of the mad doctors latest inventions— especially one that Eggman dubs Metal Sonic. 

So Tails does what he does best, and he builds. Tech to keep Sonic safe, tech that comes back either ruined or perfectly fine but attached to an injured Sonic, and it’s frustrating. He can’t find the deciding factor, can’t find what makes the difference between injury and ruination and slowly his tech starts getting more and more complex until Sonic starts trying to insist that he’s fine on his own, which he isn’t! 

“Listen, Tails, buddy, I appreciate the concern, but I can handle myself. Metal Sonic’s got nothin’ on me!”

“Sonic! I appreciate you trying to make me feel better but there’s no way you can face this alone! Just— try my latest model, okay? I really think I’ve got it this time.”

(He doesn’t. Why would he build it to survive breaking the sound barrier?)

Sonic comes back bruised and with his tech in about five more pieces than it went out with, and Tails almost wants to rip his fur out in frustration. He’s in his lab hunched over some of the ruined metal plating, trying to figure out what went wrong where when Sonic eases himself down onto the bench next to him, not saying a word. Eventually Tails cracks. 

“I just don’t get it. This, here, looks like it was ripped apart by something moving at an incredibly high speed, but...” 

“Yeah?” Sonic says more than asks, reaching over the trace the edge of the ripped metal. “Sorry about that, buddy, but... I would have been okay without your tech.” 

“But you wouldn’t have been!!! This came back in pieces, and you’re all bruised— what would have happened if you hadn’t had it?”

Sonic looks conflicted, like he’s trying to figure out how to say something that he knows Tails won’t want to hear. “Tails, buddy... I’m real careful t’ avoid gettin’ your tech smashed up in any fights I’m in, cause I know how hard you work on that stuff. But it’s not helping.” 

Which. Yeah, that stings. But it’s also blatantly not true. “Don’t lie to me! Metal Sonic— he’s fast enough to break the sound barrier now! There’s no way you’d be able to keep up with that!”

And Sonic... well, Sonic looks like Tails has just ripped the carpet out from under his feet. He looks like he’s stumbling over words for a moment, and Tails feels a vindictive thrill— Is Sonic going to bring up his wind manipulation abilities? 

The answer is no. Instead, Sonic lies to him again. 

“Tails— you’re— you’re serious? Buddy, I’ve been breaking the sound barrier since before I met you!”

“Quit— quit lying to me, Sonic! The only person we know who might be able to do that is Shadow, and he was biologically engineered to do stuff like that! You’d be ripped apart by the force alone!”

“Tails— Shadow’s slower than I am! You’re actually serious— what about Amy, or Knuckles? Surely one of them have noticed—“

“Noticed what? How you’re a big, fat, liar!?”

“Whoa, Tails, buddy, I promise I’m not lying to you.” 

“But you are though! You aren’t— you aren’t the fastest thing alive, or anything. You’re just Sonic.”

Sonic looks a bit like Tails just slapped him. “I’m... going to go for a run, okay buddy? We can continue talking about this when we’ve both calmed down a bit, okay?” 

“Okay,” Tails mumbles, curling into himself. He doesn’t bother to look at the door as Sonic leaves, usual burst of wind tugging at his fur. 

* * *

Amy is just finished crushing the last Badnik with her Piko Hammer when a blue smear streaks over the horizon. She shields her eyes from the suns glare with one hand— Metal Sonic, maybe?— the other maintaining a loose grasp on her Piko Hammer. The blue smear reappears seconds later, looking a lot closer, and then again a second later, arcing towards Amy. Now both of her hands go to her Piko Hammer, bringing the hefty mallet up in preparation to bury it in Metal Sonic’s metal face when the blue smear skids to a stop. 

“Hey, Amy— whoa, watch the hammer!” Sonic— since when could Sonic move that fast?— yelps, ducking out of the way of her well practiced swing. 

“Sonic? How do I know you’re not just some knock off Metal Sonic? The Sonic I know can’t move that fast.” 

“You’ve got t’be kiddin’ me.” The maybe-Sonic vanishes again with a boom and a gust of wind— and Amy starts rethinking her wind manipulator theory.

* * *

Sonic returns half an hour later, to a Tails who has put together a comprehensive slideshow on the effects that breaking the sound barrier would have on Sonic. Sonic sits through it with an exasperated look on his face— but he listens, which is good enough for Tails. For now. He clicks off of the final slide, brushes his hands off like he just got finished patching up the Tornado, and plants them on his hips. “And that’s why you can’t break the sound barrier!” 

Sonic leans back, one foot tapping idly. “Okay, excellent points, Tails— but I’ve already broken the sound barrier. I broke the sound barrier on my jog back over here.” 

“Sonic—“ 

Any further argument is cut off by their door slamming open, Shadow barging right on inside. 

“Faker, Eggman’s trying to take over the planet again. GUN wants your help stopping him. Again.” 

“Sure thing, Shads— if you race me first.” 

Both the ultimate lifeform and the two tailed fox look at Sonic like he’s just told Shadow he’s secretly been working with Eggman this whole time, but after a moments pause, the black hedgehog nods. “Your clones won’t help you win against me, Sonic.” 

“My what?— Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know. Tails, wanna referee?” 

“I guess, but I don’t see what point you’re trying to prove. Shadows gonna win, Sonic.” 

“Even Tails knows you’re outmatched against me, Sonic.”

“Oh, har-dee-har-har. How about we race to... Station Square and back? No shortcuts, no chaos control, just a straight shot.” 

It’s a good five hour long ride on the bi-plane, Tails knows, and it’s a trip that Shadow could probably make in five minutes or less, but Sonic seems determined to prove a point. 

The two hedgehogs get into sprinters positions just outside of Tails’s house, Shadow begrudgingly and Sonic eagerly. 

“Ready to lose?” He asks, wide grin plastered on his face, and Shadow snorts. 

“As if.” 

Tails sighs, from the side, but calls out “Ready!” Anyway. Both Sonic and Shadow lower themselves further. 

“Set!” Both of Sonic’s legs disappear into a red blur, though he remains perfectly in place. After a second the blur settles into a figure eight shape, and even Shadow looks taken aback at the blue hedgehog. 

“Well, Tails? We racin’ or not? Cmon, buddy.” 

Prompted more by Sonic than his own thoughts, Tails managed “Go?” Before Sonic is gone in a blur of blue. It takes a second for him to realize Shadow is still braced in his running position, and they both exchange frantic ‘ _what the fuck_ ’ looks before Shadow too vanishes in a smear of black and red. 

Sonic is back two minutes later, wearing a ‘I *heart* Station Square’ t-shirt. 

“What the fuck,” says Tails, still in the same spot. 

Shadow agrees, if the vehement cursing is anything to go by when he gets back. 

Sonic is doubled over laughing when Shadow grabs him by the collar of his new shirt, pinning him up against the wall. “How did you do that? You shouldn’t be able to go that fast.” 

Sonic, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, shrugs, “I’ve always been fast. You guys had no idea!” 

Shadow snarls and drops him. “I’m... I’m going to deal with Eggman on my own. And then we’re getting a rematch. And you’re showing me how you managed to cheat that.” 

Sonic shrugs, picking himself up, but the other hedgehog is already gone to chaos control. 

“Tails? Buddy? You doin alright? Y’haven’t really... moved from that spot. Y’are still breathin’ right?”

“Sonic. Sonic you should not be able to move that fast.” 

He shrugs. “Maybe. But I can, anyway— wait, if you and Knuckles and Amy don’t know— if Shadow didn’t know— then does that mean—“ 

“Mean what?” 

“Does that mean _Eggman_ is the only one who knew how fast I am???” 

**Author's Note:**

> In my planning, that end scene with shadow went something like   
> Shadow chooses this moment to roll up like ‘hey Eggman is stirring up trouble or smth wanna help me kick his ass’ and sonic is like “shadow. You, me, race, now.”   
> And shadows like “Ah, so your ass is the one to be kicked.“ and I’m sad I didn’t get to keep that line so I’m putting it here.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Super Sonic Speed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23620384) by [Mobbo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mobbo/pseuds/Mobbo)




End file.
